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Relationship and Family Guidance

TIPS ON GROOMING GIRLS/DAUGHTERS PART -1

Read Time:4 Minute, 7 Second

TIPS ON GROOMING GIRLS/DAUGHTERS

PART-1

Hello Folks!

As you all know and have experienced or are experiencing, raising girls/daughters can be as tactical as raising boys. Let us dive deep into the tips on how to groom girls/daughters.

We all are faced with great challenges along the way, but what matters is the end product.

The number one tip we as parents can follow in grooming our girls/daughters is to talk things out with them. There is always something going on in their little minds. Whatever is there, does come out sooner or later.

As a parent, it is our responsibility to help them ease their thoughts, however, troublesome might it be. This act will give them the surety that as a parent, we are always there for them.

Secondly, to groom girls/daughters, start assigning small tasks to them. Tasks such as cleaning their rooms, picking up their toys, putting away the dinner plates. This will induce a sense of discipline in them.

Thirdly, You can groom your girls /daughters by trying to assess their likes and dislikes. Some girls might like to wash the dishes yet others might like to prepare food in the kitchen with or without your help. Ask them to help you out with food preparations in the kitchen.

This will not only enhance your bond with them but will also lead them towards being more responsible in the later years of life.

Fourthly, encourage their ideas of creativity or ideas related to money-making. Girls, who have parents’ support at their back tend to make a great success in their future lives as compared to those girls who are always discouraged for their ideas.

Fifthly, spent exclusive time with your daughters/girls like watching their favorite TV shows or it can either be a game or sport or even dressing up. Don’t ever think it’s boring.

It is the time we are investing in them that will be rewarded to us in so many ways, we are unaware of.

Sixth, we should teach our girls/daughter to be vocal in what they think is their right. This is the age when you as a parent are fulfilling your responsibility in giving them awareness to express themselves.

This is the freedom of speech that needs to be emphasized and re-emphasized.

Seventh, girls/daughters are very sensitive to the needs of people around them. Still, just as boys have to be taught to respect women of all age brackets; in the same way, girls/daughters have to be told to practice the same when it comes to men.

When we will observe a value system, our self, they automatically will follow it. And if we are not clear our self why do we expect them to be clear. So the lines have to be clearly defined.

Eighth, never insult your daughters/girls in front of anyone especially your maternal and paternal relations not to mention the outside world.

For, in the long run, if they turn out to be the opposite of what they were, they would never be appreciated for what they have become but would always be remembered as they used to be.

Ninth, trust your children in what they tell you. If you trust them today, they will not betray your trust in the future but if it’s vice versa you have deformed them for life.

At the same time, as a parent, you need to have a hawk-eye. After all, you are the parent and know your girls in and out. However, no need to make it obvious to them. Observe and apply accordingly.

And lastly, to make them productive citizens of the community, set a positive example in front of them. As it is said; Do unto others as you want others to do unto you.

I would ask all mothers out there to keep on observing other people’s lives who have raised wonderful girls/daughters. Interview them, talk to them and see what differences have they done and you are missing.

It is always good to learn from other people’s experiences rather than going through the same mistakes.

I would like to add that there is no ready-made recipe for bringing up girls/daughters. We have to experiment with every stage of children’s growing up.

Some things might work well with one child whereas for the others a different set of strategies might be needed.

But what is more efficient is your communication with the child. Only this, will help you in understanding the true nature of your children and act accordingly.

In the end, I would like to express my gratitude to all mothers who despite their professional life, hectic household chores still try their best to balance their lives and in that balance, work hard to raise good children especially girls/daughters.https://www.sabahataamir.com/mental-health-issues-in-teen/

Happy Reading.

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sabpir@gmail.com

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October 11, 2021

Relationship and Family Guidance

IMPRESSIONS- THINK OUT OF THE BOX;A SINGLE DAY IN THE LIFE OF A WOMAN

Read Time:8 Minute, 0 Second

IMPRESSIONS; THINK OUT OF THE BOX

A SINGLE DAY IN THE LIFE OF A WOMAN

People are often bound by impressions they have been viewing since an early stage of life. Such impressions often make me wonder why cannot people, Think out of the Box (https://www.wordhippo.com/what-is/another-word-for/thinking_outside_the_box.html )before making such impressions.

Today, I will walk you through one such impression that prevails in most Pakistani (South Asian) families.

STAY AT HOME WOMEN/WIVES/MOMS SCHEDULE:

This impression is formed by men mostly who think if a woman is a stay-at-home mom/wife, she does not have anything to do except enjoying leisure all day long. Well, it is high time to think out of the box.

Let’s start with a normal day for any woman/housewife. Her daily routine starts with the morning prayers. The timings may vary according to the time zone of the area/ country where one is residing.

MORNING PREPARATIONS:

Anyways, after the morning prayers, she starts preparing lunchboxes and breakfast for everyone in the house. Now, these lunch boxes and breakfast are not simple ones but may vary according to ones liking and tastes.https://www.nigella.com/cookbook-corner

This may take 1 hour in preparation depending on the number of persons living in that particular household.

ACTION TIME:

Then comes the time of waking up everyone in order of the time they have to leave for their work/school. She wakes up the adults who can at least wash their faces on their own.

But as for the children, she has to make sure to get them out of the bed, adjust the water temperature according to the weather, and assist them in every possible way.

No matter what are the ages of children, they always need to be pampered.

Next to this stage comes the changing stage where again on the one side she is assisting the children in getting ready and at the same time assisting the so organized adults in finding their lost things.

Well, finally comes the breakfast stage where everyone begins to eat their breakfast with little or no complain which is very rare in most circumstances.

After the breakfast stage is the leave for school and work stage which is no less than a hassle. Everything takes place in the twinkling of an eye.

The dropping to school too mostly is the responsibility of the woman/wife.

When the drop-off stage is over, the woman goes to a nearby park for a daily morning walk or exercise or as the circumstances be for her. This might take half an hour or so.

After coming back, she quickly takes her breakfast and gets to her daily chores. Hey, are we on the same page? I am sure we are.

THE NEVER-ENDING CHORES:

These chores, I am sure everyone in Pakistani society is well aware of. Well, I am talking about the regular cleaning of the house which requires washing dishes, sweeping, dusting, and mopping and re-arrangements of things as well.

This work can take about 1 to 2 hours of her time depending on the size of the home or how much dirty it might be. A little help from someone can be a blessing if there is one or else, it is her home and, she has to clean it. An out-of-the-box scenario.

Well, if there is some elderly person in the home, she has to attend him/her as well and take care of their needs and medicines, etc.

And she does all this, out of her love for that soul not for people’s reward but the greater reward that she might receive from the Creator. Though some words of gratitude may not kill her.

When the home chores are done, she reverts to her kitchen where she has to start with food preparations according to the liking of everyone at home.

IT’S HERO TIME:

Now, let me enlighten you with the fact that in the kitchen, most women do not have extra hands instead she is multi-tasking to put the meals on the table.

It may involve lengthy processes from cutting onions to peeling off skins of garlic and vegetables etc. No easy way out.Ah!

I am with all of you in this and I am here to bear with you, care and share with you and be your voice in expressing your inner thoughts.

Now, these meals might not always be simpler, to get them right and according to taste, the woman might consult elderly women in families who are believed to be good cooks of their time.

They might be able to guide provided they have a good memory or have a recipe noted down somewhere or else you are on your own.

And if you are creative and have a taste for food you might come up with something better.

Your family will love it for they will think it’s the same recipe…and you will never tell.

Hello! Here comes the off time for kids. You have got to go. No time to stand and stare or even drink a glass of water.

So here you are running on the roads from one school to another to pick up the children from their respective schools.

This picking up may take 1 to 1 and a half hours depending on your location of the home to and from school.

After coming back from school, the woman engages herself in getting them changed and get them on the table for food. During this time, the woman engages and asks them about their day, what made them happy, sad and whatever they want to talk about.

Her day does not come to an end, she has to make sure the children have their due rest or if they want to play, she takes them to the park so that they can enjoy.

SNACK TIME:

After coming back, the children might need some snacks to fill their hungry tummies and the woman has to be very selective in providing them something nutritious yet energy boosting.https://www.sabahataamir.com/a-finger-licking-brownie/

When the eating is over, she has to get on with their homework or any of the school activities or as the case might be. Well, she does it all. Except in areas that are beyond her grasp.

Now, up till this time, it is already 7:00 p.m. She has to start preparing for the food to be served for dinner. It can either be a whole new food or the same food used for lunch.

The family man mostly arrives from his office late to have dinner with the family. It is a lucky day for the family if he comes on time.

The dinner is served. It is either praised or praised with some improvements or eaten without comments.

Now, the wife thinks that her day has come to an end and she can do something of her liking but it is like versa.

She has to iron the clothes for the next day, pack the bags, get the children ready for sleep, read them something, or watch something with them before they are lulled to sleep.

CATHARSIS TIME:

This might take another hour or so. When all this is done, she opens her laptop/book, etc., with the idea of writing down something which gives her inspiration for the next day yet to come.

At this point, she expects some gratitude from anyone in the house.

But here too, she does not get any gratitude yet receives this comment; All day you are on the laptop and do nothing…

then please all men are you, Husbands, Brothers, Fathers, Friends, etc., please stop for a second and Think out of the box.

We are human beings not any cog in the machines.

In the end, I would like to reiterate my point of view that stop taking us for granted and formulating impressions about us.

For once, think out of the box. If we are stay-at-home moms or wives or women; we have deliberately or non deliberately choose this for ourselves.

We want to give a conducive environment to our family and the people around us. We do not earn in monetary terms but we are earning through our deeds and raising productive nations trying to make them thankful and have gratitude towards the ones who make their lives heaven.

We are working tirelessly, and effortlessly without being compensated. Please bear with us and hear us out, address our grievances and we can find a solution together.

At the end of the day, it is the sacrifices of such women that are going to be counted and be thanked for. So bear with us the equal responsibility and share your gratitude towards all stay-at-home moms/wives/women.

Until next time, stay safe and Healthy.

Happy Reading.

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sabahat

sabpir@gmail.com

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October 6, 2021

Relationship and Family Guidance

BONDING BETWEEN SIBLINGS

Read Time:3 Minute, 10 Second

BONDING BETWEEN SIBLINGS

Hello Folks!

We are so struck in our day to day chores that we forget about the little gestures that make life worth living.This keeps on reminding me of Words Worth poem; ” we have no time to stand and stare…”

So here,I am today to talk about the times we spent as siblings.The bonding/relationship between a brother and sister is one of its kind.A beautiful yet sacred relation.Yet it varies; sibling to sibling.

A good bonding/relationship is always based on the people in your surrounding.If one gets positive vibes from the surroundings, the relationships will be of a different kind.

If there are negatives vibes in the surroundings, so would it effect the bonding/relationships.

Let us try to dive deep between the bonding/relationship of a brother and sister.I have often observed that relationship has a lot to do with number placements within a core family.

A boy who is elder than the other siblings will altogether act in a different way.More responsible,independent, caring and organized.This is because of the models he would be having in front of him.

On the other hand, a boy who is second, third or even fourth in placement may act in a more different way as compared to the older siblings. More dependent,loving, caring and protective.

Whatever the number placements, all brothers have their own way of expressing their love and care for their sisters.

Most of the time they are observed being fighting on trivial issues such as why did she take my car? or This is my teddy bear.And the sisters would say that mommy, daddy bought it for all.

This is the time when their arguing skills are developing and it is best not to intervene.Let them come up with a solution.If they need your assistance, they will definitely approach you.

Till then sit back and relax;but do keep your ears open just in case things get out of hand.

Then, i have seen brothers and sisters teasing one another.At times, it is really fun to see where do they get such ideas.We are talking about our future generations.

Here, too if you observe,you will find a lot of insight about their behaviors and how you, as a parent need to tackle them.

Often, siblings are seen spending quality time together by watching their favorite TV shows or You Tube videos or even some movie.And this is how they are bonding good relationships in the years to come.

But, what I, enjoy the most is their looking at past time games as a reminder of the times they used to have.They would indulge in it with the same zest and zeal as they used to when they were children.

Pick up any board game of that time and see the reaction of your children. I am sure you will enjoy watching as much I do.

These are simple pleasures of life and long lasting bonding’s that remain long after we are gone.

Every child and his or her relationship with their sibling is unique.As a parent, we need to foster their bonds in the most productive way without undermining the other.

They may be offended with us at times for not behaving in the way they thought us to.That my friend, is called parenthood.We all trial and experience before we learn the right tactics.

In the end, I would like to say that enjoy these bonding’s while you can.Bring out the best in yourself and others.Praise those around you in a productive way.You never know whose life depends on your single word of praise or motivation.

Until next time, Happy Reading.

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sabahat

sabpir@gmail.com

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March 13, 2020

TIPS ON GROOMING GIRLS/DAUGHTERS

PART-1

Hello Folks!

As you all know and have experienced or are experiencing, raising girls/daughters can be as tactical as raising boys. Let us dive deep into the tips on how to groom girls/daughters.

We all are faced with great challenges along the way, but what matters is the end product.

The number one tip we as parents can follow in grooming our girls/daughters is to talk things out with them. There is always something going on in their little minds. Whatever is there, does come out sooner or later.

As a parent, it is our responsibility to help them ease their thoughts, however, troublesome might it be. This act will give them the surety that as a parent, we are always there for them.

Secondly, to groom girls/daughters, start assigning small tasks to them. Tasks such as cleaning their rooms, picking up their toys, putting away the dinner plates. This will induce a sense of discipline in them.

Thirdly, You can groom your girls /daughters by trying to assess their likes and dislikes. Some girls might like to wash the dishes yet others might like to prepare food in the kitchen with or without your help. Ask them to help you out with food preparations in the kitchen.

This will not only enhance your bond with them but will also lead them towards being more responsible in the later years of life.

Fourthly, encourage their ideas of creativity or ideas related to money-making. Girls, who have parents’ support at their back tend to make a great success in their future lives as compared to those girls who are always discouraged for their ideas.

Fifthly, spent exclusive time with your daughters/girls like watching their favorite TV shows or it can either be a game or sport or even dressing up. Don’t ever think it’s boring.

It is the time we are investing in them that will be rewarded to us in so many ways, we are unaware of.

Sixth, we should teach our girls/daughter to be vocal in what they think is their right. This is the age when you as a parent are fulfilling your responsibility in giving them awareness to express themselves.

This is the freedom of speech that needs to be emphasized and re-emphasized.

Seventh, girls/daughters are very sensitive to the needs of people around them. Still, just as boys have to be taught to respect women of all age brackets; in the same way, girls/daughters have to be told to practice the same when it comes to men.

When we will observe a value system, our self, they automatically will follow it. And if we are not clear our self why do we expect them to be clear. So the lines have to be clearly defined.

Eighth, never insult your daughters/girls in front of anyone especially your maternal and paternal relations not to mention the outside world.

For, in the long run, if they turn out to be the opposite of what they were, they would never be appreciated for what they have become but would always be remembered as they used to be.

Ninth, trust your children in what they tell you. If you trust them today, they will not betray your trust in the future but if it’s vice versa you have deformed them for life.

At the same time, as a parent, you need to have a hawk-eye. After all, you are the parent and know your girls in and out. However, no need to make it obvious to them. Observe and apply accordingly.

And lastly, to make them productive citizens of the community, set a positive example in front of them. As it is said; Do unto others as you want others to do unto you.

I would ask all mothers out there to keep on observing other people’s lives who have raised wonderful girls/daughters. Interview them, talk to them and see what differences have they done and you are missing.

It is always good to learn from other people’s experiences rather than going through the same mistakes.

I would like to add that there is no ready-made recipe for bringing up girls/daughters. We have to experiment with every stage of children’s growing up.

Some things might work well with one child whereas for the others a different set of strategies might be needed.

But what is more efficient is your communication with the child. Only this, will help you in understanding the true nature of your children and act accordingly.

Happy Reading.

sabahat

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IMPRESSIONS; THINK OUT OF THE BOX

A SINGLE DAY IN THE LIFE OF A WOMAN

People are often bound by impressions they have been viewing since an early stage of life. Such impressions often make me wonder why cannot people, Think out of the Box (https://www.wordhippo.com/what-is/another-word-for/thinking_outside_the_box.html )before making such impressions.

Today, I will walk you through one such impression that prevails in most Pakistani (South Asian) families.

STAY AT HOME WOMEN/WIVES/MOMS SCHEDULE:

This impression is formed by men mostly who think if a woman is a stay-at-home mom/wife, she does not have anything to do except enjoying leisure all day long. Well, it is high time to think out of the box.

Let’s start with a normal day for any woman/housewife. Her daily routine starts with the morning prayers. The timings may vary according to the time zone of the area/ country where one is residing.

MORNING PREPARATIONS:

Anyways, after the morning prayers, she starts preparing lunchboxes and breakfast for everyone in the house. Now, these lunch boxes and breakfast are not simple ones but may vary according to ones liking and tastes.https://www.nigella.com/cookbook-corner

This may take 1 hour in preparation depending on the number of persons living in that particular household.

ACTION TIME:

Then comes the time of waking up everyone in order of the time they have to leave for their work/school. She wakes up the adults who can at least wash their faces on their own.

But as for the children, she has to make sure to get them out of the bed, adjust the water temperature according to the weather, and assist them in every possible way.

No matter what are the ages of children, they always need to be pampered.

Next to this stage comes the changing stage where again on the one side she is assisting the children in getting ready and at the same time assisting the so organized adults in finding their lost things.

Well, finally comes the breakfast stage where everyone begins to eat their breakfast with little or no complain which is very rare in most circumstances.

After the breakfast stage is the leave for school and work stage which is no less than a hassle. Everything takes place in the twinkling of an eye.

The dropping to school too mostly is the responsibility of the woman/wife.

When the drop-off stage is over, the woman goes to a nearby park for a daily morning walk or exercise or as the circumstances be for her. This might take half an hour or so.

After coming back, she quickly takes her breakfast and gets to her daily chores. Hey, are we on the same page? I am sure we are.

THE NEVER-ENDING CHORES:

These chores, I am sure everyone in Pakistani society is well aware of. Well, I am talking about the regular cleaning of the house which requires washing dishes, sweeping, dusting, and mopping and re-arrangements of things as well.

This work can take about 1 to 2 hours of her time depending on the size of the home or how much dirty it might be. A little help from someone can be a blessing if there is one or else, it is her home and, she has to clean it. An out-of-the-box scenario.

Well, if there is some elderly person in the home, she has to attend him/her as well and take care of their needs and medicines, etc.

And she does all this, out of her love for that soul not for people’s reward but the greater reward that she might receive from the Creator. Though some words of gratitude may not kill her.

When the home chores are done, she reverts to her kitchen where she has to start with food preparations according to the liking of everyone at home.

IT’S HERO TIME:

Now, let me enlighten you with the fact that in the kitchen, most women do not have extra hands instead she is multi-tasking to put the meals on the table.

It may involve lengthy processes from cutting onions to peeling off skins of garlic and vegetables etc. No easy way out.Ah!

I am with all of you in this and I am here to bear with you, care and share with you and be your voice in expressing your inner thoughts.

Now, these meals might not always be simpler, to get them right and according to taste, the woman might consult elderly women in families who are believed to be good cooks of their time.

They might be able to guide provided they have a good memory or have a recipe noted down somewhere or else you are on your own.

And if you are creative and have a taste for food you might come up with something better.

Your family will love it for they will think it’s the same recipe…and you will never tell.

Hello! Here comes the off time for kids. You have got to go. No time to stand and stare or even drink a glass of water.

So here you are running on the roads from one school to another to pick up the children from their respective schools.

This picking up may take 1 to 1 and a half hours depending on your location of the home to and from school.

After coming back from school, the woman engages herself in getting them changed and get them on the table for food. During this time, the woman engages and asks them about their day, what made them happy, sad and whatever they want to talk about.

Her day does not come to an end, she has to make sure the children have their due rest or if they want to play, she takes them to the park so that they can enjoy.

SNACK TIME:

After coming back, the children might need some snacks to fill their hungry tummies and the woman has to be very selective in providing them something nutritious yet energy boosting.https://www.sabahataamir.com/a-finger-licking-brownie/

When the eating is over, she has to get on with their homework or any of the school activities or as the case might be. Well, she does it all. Except in areas that are beyond her grasp.

Now, up till this time, it is already 7:00 p.m. She has to start preparing for the food to be served for dinner. It can either be a whole new food or the same food used for lunch.

The family man mostly arrives from his office late to have dinner with the family. It is a lucky day for the family if he comes on time.