JOURNEY OF THE SOUL;UPCLOSE AND PERSONAL

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JOURNEY OF THE SOUL;

UPCLOSE AND PERSONAL

Hello Folks!

Today, I will share with you the life story of a woman who went through many struggles in her life to be the person that she now is and from whose blogs, you take great inspiration.

It’s a journey of the soul. So let the curtains unveil.

Born in a family of four siblings, always treated lesser, based on skin tone and intelligence, a forceps delivery, as I was told was the reason for my being the way I am. I weaved a castle of imagination around me.

journey of the soul

I lived in that imaginary world where I was a hero and made an impact on society.

I had to struggle to fit in with my surroundings and the school at large. Low in confidence and always being bullied by the better, posh, and popular lot.

Still determined to prove myself one day.

I was still my father’s favorite. He loved me despite my looks and intelligence and I loved him selflessly.

As I grew older and took interest in subjects of my liking, I began to excel in my studies and finding like-minded people like me who saw my capabilities and not my flaws.

JOURNEY OF THE SOUL

All my childhood, I suffered from comparisons and not being good enough but my innate nature couldn’t be changed that is spreading happiness around and helping ones like me, I could in my own way.

Even at this time, at the age of 43, people who I call family, say mean things to me. My family (blood bindings) whom I have always put first then my own family (husband and children).

Have tried to keep them happy, still off and on, have been blamed for the embezzlement of money, and other mean things, just because I take care of my old father.

Most of the time, I listen to them just thinking, maybe I am living in my fathers’ house with my family for my father gives everyone the right to treat me that way.

My children often get emotional and angry saying that why don’t you tell them what you tell us? Why can’t they just leave you alone? Next time so and so khala (aunt)does this, we will tell them.

And I always tell them that it is bad manners and Allah is looking and He will take care of them.

They too suffer because they see their mother suffering at the hands of her loved ones. Though children, they want to say things to them but then think about how, I will feel, stop and take their distances.

I can’t erase the harsh talk out of their minds and let them think all is good. They have to face the bitter reality of life, only to be stronger in the future.

Off and on there have been times where I have desperately felt the need of being independent and telling everyone that I am not dependent on them or their mercy.

Many times in my life, I have fallen and got back again on my foot, thinking about what kind of life I want for my children.

I can sense the dejection going into my children. They were not brought into this world to go through the demise, I am going through.

I want them to have a smooth life and am willing to make/making the necessary sacrifices for their good future.

We have just one life and we have to utilize it to the best of our capabilities. I want to utilize all my talents, help other people along the way and show them a beacon of light.

The purpose of this blog is to motivate the fallen souls who think that being born in a good wealthy family is a privilege. Well, folks, it’s not.

Some learn it the easy way and some learn it the hard way. The more close we are to our basics, the easy it is for us to excel.

One is a prince or princess till the parents are alive as after them or when they themselves are dependent, you are no one’s prince or princess, not even your husband owns you.

You and you alone have to make this difference.“Thinking is the talking of the soul with itself”https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/soul-quotes.

My journey of the soul is an ongoing journey and I have traveled a long way to reach this point now, from what I was 5 years back to the new version of me now.

I have come a long way, learned a lot from like-minded, transformed a lot with mentors, and groomed a lot with the help of sincere and honest friends and readers like you.

Life is not a bed of roses. It never has been.

Struggling, yet determined woman on the run to make a difference in the lives around me and those who look at me in infancy.

I am a wife, a daughter, a sister, a mother, and to many an influencer, a challenge who is changing the way of thinking at large.

I say what I think is right and practice what I believe is right. I don’t do comparisons, am not judgemental. I am the same person for all, whoever approaches.

Being an empath, I can feel what others can’t say because I go through the same feelings every day by connecting to people. We all have a purpose in this world.

My purpose is to ease other people’s life. And make them want to live their life constructively.

I am no counselor, just a human being who understands a multitude of emotions, a good friend, and a listening ear.

As an individual, I would recommend all the fallen angels suffering from meanness find a source you can, use as catharsis, your life will change. It changed mine.https://www.sabahataamir.com/catharsis-2/

As humans, let’s help each other to come out of their shells, have a voice and be productive in meaningful ways.

Think about it.

Until next time, stay safe and healthy.

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A BIRTHDAY WISH

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A BIRTHDAY WISH

(Based on a True Story)

It was a night not describable in terms of vocabulary but explained in terms of inner feelings.The pain and turmoil with every passing second (music of grief),enhancing of the slightest sound with the mumbling of the voices.

The night of 30th April,2013 was no less than a pain and torture for the whole family. Waiting in the patients waiting area for hours not being allowed to visit her mother in the ICU, still hoping for her survival and recovery gave her a pain in the heart and brain every time she thought of her mother.

Sitting on the iron chair, praying for her mother ,SHE could feel her hands and brain becoming restless. She got up and went outside the ICU ,where her mother was. She wanted to meet her desperately. Being turned back again and again she went to the sitting area and again prayed for her mother.

Time was ticking(ticking of clock) ,not on the wall only but inside her(pounding of heart),her ears, alert on the announcements of the doctors, nurses and any news that could be heard. It was passed 3:00 am in the morning ;keeping awake all night she could feel something inside her ,unable to answer the questions inside her, she again went to the ICU, turned away again with despair and hate.

She came and started walking to and fro, overall restless not knowing what to do, couldn’t call the family and add worry to their tormented souls; kept on waiting. Time kept on ticking so did the tick tock inside her.

Then she could hear the Fajr prayers and see the dim light of the day. At that time voices started becoming clearer. She then heard the voice behind the counter calling attendant of bed number 27.

With a pain in the heart , praying to hear something positive, she muster up her courage and went to the ICU .There stood a Doctor who on her entry asked her if she knew what had happened to the mother.

Confused in her mind as to why the doctor is asking such a question from her, she explained everything to him. Then he asked where the family was. She told him that they were at home .Then he told her to contact them and ask them to come.

The doctor told her that they were trying to revive the mother who was on ventilation for a week .He told her that she could go outside and call the family. She knew the signals inside were very weak and going outside might take away any chances of not seeing her mother again….

If the mother is revived, she might ask about her, she did not want to take the chance of leaving her, she stayed there and waited, her senses totally numb; after some seconds the same Doctor came and said……we are sorry, she is no more.

My heaven had broken down, the sky seemed falling on me and I feeling as I would too, go under the soil. The medical staff opened the curtains for me. With tears trickling down my eyes, trying to stay composed, there lied my whole universe shattered in front of me. I went near the bed where she was lying ,seeing all kind of pipes coming out of her, I looked at her and then hugged her and kept on saying; Ami please open your eyes, Ami get up.

The voice failed to come out of me but somehow I could hear it. The tears couldn’t stop rolling down my eyes and my mind and heart failed to tally with my words. I desperately wanted her to get up and hug me and kiss me and talked to me but that never happened. My whole life had come to an end.

The whole staff and medical facility seemed like horror film characters. I hated the very sight of them; their words of console and sympathy appeared as wounds of a sword. Nothing could comfort me. I could not leave her sight. They would not let me stay. Broken and torn inside out, I got up and made a call to the family to give them the news. I remembered her wish when she was alive;

“YA MERAY ALLAH, CHAALTAY PHIRTAY UTHA LEINA,MUHTAAJI NA DENA”

(Oh my Lord,take my soul while i can walk; do not give me a life of dependency)

Her wish was granted. It was her birthday….

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